Men vs. Women. Gray Hair & Beauty

Afternoon frustration. Why do men go gray and look more distinguished while women just look drawn & haggard. Why do wrinkles give them character while it just makes us look old? Why do we need to spend $100+ to cut & color our hair? Why do we have to fight the aging process while they just throw on a Hawaiian shirt, but the hair a bit shorter and go?

Ferris: “So I said …to Hollywood, “Where’d he go?” and Hollywood said, “Where’d WHOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?”
Cameron: Ahhh. The good ole days when Tom Cruise wasn't crazy.
F: Actually, it was because we watched Roxanne over the weekend…and Rick Rosscovich, aka Slider was in it. He’s so pretty. Nono, don’t talk…just be pretty.
C: Wasn't he in something recently? Still pretty but with gray hair?
F: According to IMDB hasn’t done anything since 2003…and he was born in 1957!!!!!!!! I didn’t realize he was that old. He’ll always be Slider to me.
C: Wow. 51!?
Having
Trouble
Breathing.
Falling
Out
Of
Chair.
Speaking of old...your husband may have a head of gray hair (which looks good on him by the way), but mine has a pretty large bald spot going on the top of his head. I don't have the heart to tell him how big it is. Noticed just how bad it is this morning.
F: I know…its crazy, but I think The King looks better now than he ever has. So The Mayor has the old reverse Yarmulke goin’ on, huh? Some of my favorite guys do…Yeah, Slider is 51. I was stunned. I would never have guessed that he was older than The King. And he was on ER for a while. As a doctor. Just when I thought he couldn’t get any hotter, he goes and puts on the white coat.
C: I think its call a monk ring. He is in desperate need of a haircut right now. When he wears it as short as he normally does, you don't notice it because the hair is so very short. With it long, it's so noticeable. The King does look good. I like him with gray hair. It's strange but it makes him look younger somehow.
F: The monk ring…I’ve never heard that term, but I like it. We shall chant…
King’s got the good gray hair, the tan and the ‘fun’ wrinkles. Irritates the crap outta me.
C: All men get that. Even the bald thing...all they have to do it shave it and they look great.
We, on the other hand, have to spend millions of dollars trying to keep away wrinkles and covering gray hair. Not fair not fair not fair.

Twin Peaks & Greasy Tacos

Still waiting....bag of deep fried burritos and runny avocado sauce is getting pretty greasy. Would you hurry up already!

Ferris: “Diane, I’m holding in my hand a box of chocolate bunnies.”
Cameron: Puts a smile on my face. The Mayor is gone Saturday. It's supposed to be hot. I'm thinking of going for a Twin Peaks marathon.
F: Ooooh, nice. We’re invited to Grandma Sunshine’s company picnic in Malibu…I could be up for a Twin Peaks marathon too!!!!
C: Well come on over! Forget the picnic. Why go for sunshine and fresh air when you can sit in front of the TV enjoying Special Agent Dale Cooper and Sheriff Harry S Truman.
F: That is so tempting. Throw in some Taco Treat or Taco Lita and I might be coming down with a cough.
C: Well of course. If we're going to be unhealthy couch potatoes we'd have to include greasy non Mexican, Mexican food. So...you did look like Donna when the show was on but now, she (Lara Flynn Boyle) is just not as pretty. She's kind of scary now. Anyway. Should you decide to feign sickness, you know where I'll be. Damn fine coffee. Pie. Greasy food. Air conditioning.
F: I concur (about Lara Flynn Boyle). Time (or Jack Nicholson) was not kind to her. Shelly (Madchen Amick) however aged beautifully. I always thought you had a little Sherilyn Fenn thing going on. And that’s not a bad thing.
C: Why thank you. Got it going on today. Minimal eye makeup except for black mascara and bright red lips.

Parting thought....Ooooooooooh
Bearseatoatsanddoeseatoatsandlittlelambseativy akid'lleativytoowouldn'tyou

Pushing buttons.

You know how in every friendship, at some point one person is cranky and the other is full of sunshine & light? It's not always the same person, it's just how it works. The sunshiney person needs to bring up the cranky person. Here we are on a random summer day....

FERRIS: Who, brings a yippy little dog into City Hall?
CAMERON: Paris Hilton?
F: SHE WISHES. Turns out she’s an old girlfriend/ neighbor of The King’s.
C: Well, being that you work in town, the odds are this type of thing will happen occasionally. Between The Mayor & They King, no stone was left unturned if you know what I mean.
F: She’s a neighbor of yours now. Godspeed.
C: I've seen all my neighbors. Nothing exciting or worrisome there.
F: No this is nothing of consequence. But a level of perkiness that I just can’t handle today.
C: I'm leaving her at 2. I think I should show up there with a big smiley face balloon and some clowns.
F: And a little lap dog. Then I will beat you senseless.
C: That's not very friendly.
F: Sorry, but I’m still listening to little miss Prozac prattle on about her “GREEN PROJECT” and squeak with sheer excitement. I’m not exactly in the running for Miss Friendly Sierra Madre today.
C: Oooh. Miss Friendly Sierra Madre. I sense a new parade entry.
F: Did you always try to push my buttons like this? I’m just teasing. Imagine me saying my last statement with one eyebrow raised. If I could do that I would.I just really would much rather be sleeping. For about a week. It’s like dealing with Grandma Sunshine on about 2 hours sleep and no food. I can’t be trusted not to snap.
C: Just kick her in the shin and blame it on restless leg syndrome.

Dark humor and the town in which we live & work

The town where Cameron lives and Ferris works is small. It's perfectly normal on the outside. Quaint even. But once you get to know the people that live there, you realize it's anything but normal. One part of town is made up of typical southern California families. Another part comes from struggling & successful artists. Yet another is a large group of "hippies" left over from the commune days of the 60's. All of us have spent too much time in the foothills, somewhat isolated from the rest of the valley. We're an eclectic mix. Sometimes you can't tell which group the person you're talking to belongs. One thing you can count on though...there is a little crazy in them. Below is not only an example of the crazy things we do in our town, but of the humor that comes second nature when trying to deal with it. While we may have been being silly, what we joked about may have actually been happening. You just never know.

Cameron: Ahhh. Jamba Juice. It soothes the soul. Whatcha doin'?

Ferris: Here’s the email I just sent:

"Ladies,
Received a call this morning regarding usage of the Cemetery for a Group Therapy Session. He was inquiring about permit requirements, hours of operation, access, etc. They promise to be respectful, but would like the “energy of the location”.
Help?"

C: Okay...could go two ways here. Funny! What are they doing some sort of cleansing? I'm picturing a circle of candles and chanting in some ancient language. Naked. Sage burning. You get the picture. Serious-actually sounds kind of cool. I like cemeteries and would agree that there is a peacefulness to them.

F: I think it’s a getting over something kinda deal – either getting closure over the loss of a loved one, or fear of death & dying.

C: Yeah. Sure. That's what he's telling you. Is he the head of some sort of underground group? Do they have to meet under a full moon? Asking for permission to burn incense?

F: “Ah yes sir, will you be doing any sacrificing during this meeting?”

C: That will cost extra.

F: Well, duh. Someone has to clean the blood off of the gravestones.

C: That's gonna leave a stain.

Church of Shen

Both of us have people in our lives that have very strong religious faith & beliefs…This was something we used to discuss at length back in the day.
Here’s a current discussion:

To: Cameron
From: Ferris
Subject: Can I ask you something?
I just had to ask – Where are YOU spiritually? A lot of what I believe in religion is based on our past discussions.



C: God is a much bigger part of what I believe than it used to be. But, I still think that we live over and over again until our soul gets it right. I just can't believe that there is only one true religion, be it Catholic, Christian, or Buddhist. God exists in all of those faiths. Don't you think?

F: I too believe we keep coming back til we get it right. Perhaps even that there is one thing we’re to master in each lifetime, and something to teach also. Like that’s why people come into our lives – because we can learn and teach from them. People don’t come into your life haphazardly, it’s all for a reason, designed by a higher power.
So which religion are we most like, then?



C: Shen

F: Cool…I’m a “Practicing Shen” and we worship at the house of….? What?
Books of devotion include – “Celestine Prophecy”….



C: House of Pancakes?
Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood?

F: Denny’s? I would say “Da Hood” but that’s a pretty dismal house of worship.
5 People You Meet In Heaven.


C: No no. Shen helped us escape Da Hood.

9021-Ouch

We had an obsession. It was Beverly Hills 90210. When it first aired, they were they same age as we were. Maybe a little younger. We could relate. Same fashion, same boyfriend problems. Definitely a different zip code.

Cameron: So, you know I have to give the new 90210 a try right? Kelly, Donna & Brenda are all in it. Guilty pleasure.

Ferris: When is it on?

C: I think it starts in Sept. sometime. I'm sure it will be terrible, but how can I resist one viewing?

F: My cubicle co dweller (WHAT do I call her?) is watching all of the old 90210’s online right now. She’s in the 4th season when Brandon’s girlfriend from Minnesota comes to visit … and THEY DO IT.

C: Watching TV at work? Hmmm. Charlie pointed the new show out to me. Whenever I catch in on, I have to watch and it makes me long for pizza and Cesar salad.

F: ???????? Why?

C: That's what we usually had at Flash’s while watching. Pizza or some sort of pasta and a big salad. Brain cloud.

F: Ahhhh, right. That’s when I told The King that garlic was a sexual stimulant…*giggle* Dumba$$. I was thinking more of watching it at your house, which typically included our two hot dates: Ben & Jerry’s.

C: Ahhh. Such sweet boys. Remember their slutty sister Sara Lee and eating an entire chocolate cake between us. Good times, good times.

F: Yeah…I think that cake is still attached to my rear end.

C: A now for something completely different.
Brad Pitt bugs me.

F: In what way? In what context?

C: When he talks, he uses way too many 10 cent words & I'm sure he doesn't use them in the correct context. He's trying to hard to be super cool. I'm over him. I've moved on. I'm sure he'll miss me.

F: He’ll show up at your door in the pouring rain begging you to come back. I just know it.

C: It won't work. He can just take his pretty face and bad skin elsewhere.

F: A girl’s got to have her standards.

A few days later….

F: So my coworker is obsessed w/90210 & she’s been watching reruns of it here at work.
Just realized that all of that was 20 years ago. This November I will have known Sammy 20 years. Ouch.

C: Pardon me while I pass ou…..(Thud! Sound of head hitting desk)

F: RIGHT???? Where did 20 years go?????????????????????????

C: The mere fact that I have vivid, like it was yesterday, memories of 20 years ago is painful.

F: I seriously felt nauseous when I realized that. Hah! Well, at least we’re not as old as The Mayor (Chas) & The King… Yeah…it still hurts.

C: True. But not as much. They are old. They're in their 40's for crying out loud.

F: Really old. Hips giving out old.

C: Hips, knees, back, eyesight, hearing. It's all down hill from here.

Conversation on the path to Ferris & Cameron

Below is the conversation that led to our AKA's of Ferris & Cameron. No, not the funniest but is has it's moments.

As long as we're introducing ourselves, might as well introduce you to Sammy as well. He is the friend that coined SHEN to begin with. While he was the boyfriend of Ferris, he was also one of my best friends. He was a sweet, sweet boy. Full of energy. Had a tendency to hop around when he excited. Not unlike a big goofy puppy with huge paws. It is because of this that we have named him Sammy, after his big goofy puppy with huge paws.

Ferris: I was Samantha and you were…?

Cameron: I was trying to remember this weekend but haven’t been able to. Elizabeth? Caroline?” I don’t know.

F: Was it Nicki?

C: No. I’m positive it wasn’t. Wasn’t that Rent-An-Ambulance-Drivers girlfriend? Sammy’s friend?

F: Yes, that was her-Nikki. God, I thought that rolled off my tongue, “I’m Samantha, and this is Nicki”. Crap, this is gonna bug me.

C: Bugged me all weekend. Now it’s your turn……I was also trying to think of famous female friends. The best I could come up with was Lucy & Ethel and Thelma & Louise. Can’t remember for the life of me any of the names in Ya Ya Sisterhood, or any chick movies we both liked.

F: Ok, perhaps you were Samantha and I was Nicki….I would NOT have tolerated the name Caroline as that was the name of the first on a long list of little chippies Sammy made time with after our 1st break up.

C: Okay, maybe it wasn’t Caroline, but it definitely wasn’t Nicki. I liked Rent-An-Ambulance –Driver, remember? The names did just roll off our tongues when we first said them, why can’t we remember now?

F: I always thought of us as more of a Romy & Michelle’s kinda thing. Or Cee Cee & Hillary.

C: Cee Cee & Hillary? Works. Although, which one of us had big ugly hair and which has over pumped lips? Romy & Michelle…right. But we were no where near that dumb.

F: Right??? I mean that movie disturbs me now. There has to be something better-how about Vivian and ____ from Pretty Woman?

C: Which movie disturbs you? Beaches or Romy & Michelle? Okay…no on the Pretty Woman thing. It’s an actress I can’t stand and she was in it for a heartbeat.

F: Beaches disturbs me…they are so not nice to each other. And the lips are distracting.

C: The lips and the hair are distracting. Maybe not so nice, but they love each other and Bette Midler takes care of her best friend as she’s dying. Weepy movie. Fried Green Tomatoes -Idgie & Ruth. Love that movie.

F: Never seen Fried Green Tomatoes. I don’t know, but the last time I stayed up watching Beaches, they both seemed so damn selfish. It bothered me.

C: You (gasp) have never (mouth dropping to floor) seen (big huge shocked eyes) Fried Green Tomatoes!!???!?!?!?!? Where have you been hiding? It is the BEST girl friend movie EVER. AND it's set mostly in the 30's with all of those beautiful clothes and houses, it's in the south so you have the great accent thing.....You have never met Tawanda?! It's a shame really. I don't know if I can be friends with a person that has never seen this movie. It's also an incredible book.

Mav & Goose?
Ice & Slider?
Ferris & Cameron?
Andie & Iona? (Pretty in Pink)

Okay, Andie & Iona or Cher & Dionne. Oh! Heathers!
Who the heck are Kit & Dottie or Mae & Doris?

F: A League of their Own. I like Andie & Iona (Nice pull!!!) Or Ferris & Cameron. You own that you are Cameron, right? “He’ll keep callin’ me…he’ll make me feel guilty”

C: Okay, I'll own up to being Cameron in that I stress out over stupid stuff and I don't get out much. But I'm not totally Cameron. YOU however are totally Ferris. I'd love to be Iona, but I know I'm more Andie.

F: “NOTHING GOOD???? NOTHING GOOD???? We…we saw priceless works of art. We ate pancreas!!!!! “
You are totally Cameron…but only in the sense that I am Ferris.

C: I think we should stick with Ferris & Cameron.
"Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym? "

Introducing.....

Hello! I’ll bet you’re wondering who we are? (Maybe not. Maybe you just stumbled upon our conversation & aren’t that interested. Well, you’re here now so you might as well keep reading.) In terms of the great blogdom, we’ll usually be referred to as Ferris and Cameron. To make things clear, this first post, our first joint venture into the blog word, we’ll use our real names. Without knowing that, you’ll never “get” Shen.

Individually we are Jen & Shell. Many years ago (so many in fact, that neither of us find it comfortable to discuss), a good friend of ours was looking at her and asking me a question. Because using both sides of his brain was difficult at the moment, out came “Shen”. The simple combination of our two names. It is important (to us) that we were Shen long before Angelina and Brad were Brangelina. Just makes us that much more cool don’t you think? Humor us, please.

We are old friends, reconnecting after a hiatus. When it comes to our lengthy, often emailed conversations, we've picked up right where we left off. We share a common sense of humor and listening to us talk can sometimes be akin to a night a The Ice House. Together we have great timing. But we’re not limited to laughs. We’re both introspective and appreciate that life is more than the passing of time. We understand that we are here to learn and make a difference. Those conversations can be as enlightening as the funny ones are hilarious.

This blog will allow you to become a fly on the wall. Enjoy the random, silly, thought provoking world of Shen for a while. We welcome your comments. Just don’t land in my food or buzz in my ear.